For Christmas of 2008, my dad had given me the book Beyond the Final Score written by the legendary college football coach Tom Osborne.Having come from Nebraska, where college football is the leading news story even in April, I was raised with the deepest respect for Coach Osborne.Admits all that was going on in my life, one night I picked up the book that my dad had given me and began to read it.I had never been a reader up that point, but I guess boredom had gotten to me.
As I read Tom Osborne’s book, I noticed that he kept making references to another book called, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey.It was quite apparent to me that this book had made a significant impact on Coach Osborne, by the way he talked about the book and its ideas.I thought to myself “This must be some great book, if it made this type of impression on a guy like Coach Osborne.”I began to think, if this book had made an impact on guy like Coach Osborne, who had accomplished great things in his life such as winning three National Championships and becoming a United States Congressman, “I wonder what it would do for me?”
The very next day, I went to the closest Borders and bought that book.I had to know what it had inside.Looking back, that day was a turning moment in my life.I wish I knew the exact date because I would make it my own personal holiday.The very first day I began reading the book I was hit with an idea that had never really occurred to me before.
“I am 100 percent responsible for what goes on in my life.”
“How have I never realized this!”For some reason or another I had never even considered this thought.This was a theory of life was something new to me, and from that moment on, I took a new view on life.Four years later my life, although I’m far from perfect and I still have my moments, my quality of life is unbelievably better.All these things in life have change, solely because my philosophy changed.
Another part of this principle deals with the competition arena.Something that has had a dramatic effect on me is taking 100 percent responsibility for what happens on the mat.I used to think in a reactive voice such as “My opponent x…” or “My opponent did y…”While however in reality this may be true but instilling separate perception can be a powerful tool. I know think of ways like “I let my opponent do x…” or “I allowed him to do y…”This simple change in viewing the situation can have a powerful effect on your psyche.This instills an empowering mind set. Give yourself total control over your opponent.This match is yours not his.This match is dictated by you not him.Your opponent can do nothing without your permission.
The Legendary Wrestler and Coach, Dan Gable, lived this theory.Gable said “I shoot, I score.He shoots, I score.”Gable took 100 percent responsibility of the match.To Gable, the opponent was only there for Gable to beat him.He would not give permission to his opponent to have any say of how the match progressed.The one collegiate loss that Gable suffered was to Larry Owings, in 1970.After the match, Gable was quoted saying:
“All I worried about was what (Owings) was doing to me, instead of what I was doing to him. When you start worrying about that stuff, you're going down the wrong path.”
Take another look at that quote.Can you see how his statement can be translated, as he didn’t have 100 percent control of the match?This quote has stood out to me for a long time.How can an athlete who hadn’t lost in 180 collegiate matches all of the sudden given the control to his opponent and became reactive instead of proactive?It happens, none of us are perfect.Perfection is something we strive for, not something we obtain.However, learn from Dan Gable’s remark.The next time you are on the mat at a competition remember your opponent needs your permission to do anything.
Gable is not the only top athlete who takes this attitude on to mat.The first instructional DVD that I ever bought was Marcelo Garcia’s Winning Techniques of Submission Wrestling.Throughout this whole video Marcelo emphasizes imposing his will on his opponent and always dictating the match.At the time, these words were just that, words.Now I am a firm believer that simply instilling this type of attitude makes the difference between winning and losing or improving and coasting.
One of the major pillars of success is having confidence. A low self-esteem or a lack of confidence will show in anything that we do. It shows through our work, in the gym, and even in a casual conversation. Unfortunately, confidence can be a hard thing to develop, if it wasn't nurtured when we were young. It can also be lost quickly with a serious of mishaps or short comings.
Confidence can affect any athlete or business man. It can make an inferior performer better and a better performer inferior. A lack of confidence and we will fall short in our endeavors. An overabundance of confidence and we might not work as hard in obtaining our goals. Maintaining a healthy level is of confidence is a key element to elite performance. Here are the three types of confidence I have noticed through coaching, competing, and in other areas of life.
1.) REFLECTIVE CONFIDENCE
Reflective confidence comes from past experiences. With every achievement, with every successful venture, with every sale, and with every win; we add to our growing bank of confidence. Unfortunately, during a dry spell, a down turned economy, or during a losing streak confidence bank can be depleted quickly.
In the book The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield, there is an exercise that I found useful to rebuild confidence. Simply take a piece of paper and list 100 things that you have accomplished throughout your life that make you proud. Driven people can often spend too much time on looking ahead, and making goals to obtain things they don’t yet have. This exercise forces us to reflect on our past achievements reassuring us that we are already successful and capable of doing more. Make this list and review it often.
2.) GROOMED CONFIDENCE
Another we can improve our confidence is simply being prepared. Our level or preparedness is directly correlated with our confidence. Few things will make a speaker feel more confident when giving a speech, than knowing he knows more about the subject than anyone else in the room. The athlete who has prepared himself properly for his competition carries much more confidence into the arena than the athlete that has not prepared.
To increase you confidence levels you simply need to groom your skills, knowledge and conditioning on a continual basis. Prepare in a way that will enable you to say “I have done everything possible for this moment. I am prepared.” This confidence will shine through brightly. Find the discipline to not take short cuts. Don't make excuses on why not to work harder, find reasons why you need to work harder.
Don’t attempt to fool yourself by saying these things if they are not true. As Jim Rohn said, “Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.”
3.) INTERNAL CONFIDENCE
The third type of confidence is the internal confidence that some people seem to carry natrually. I recently had a conversation with a friend about some people’s inability to pat their selves on the back when they should. Often this type of person has been taught or has taught himself to be humble to the point, that it affects his/her attitude towards himself.
I believe this internal confidence can only be obtained during our youth. This confidence is learned by our parental guidance, our self-talk, our environment, and the way others talk to us during our childhood years. Occurrences and experiences during child hood can set the foundation for our confidence for the rest of our lives.
Exercising ways to increase our groomed and reflective confidence is still possible and will help, but a poor foundation will make the work harder as we age.
Examine yourself and others see if you can notice the confidence level that others carry. Try to use some of these exercises to increase your own confidence. If you have other exercises I'd love to hear what you do when you feel your confidence slipping.
This week I turned 34 years of
age. I thought I might celebrate my past
34 years while passing on 34 things I think every man (and woman) should learn.
1.Throw a football/baseball (nothing sadder than a
man that can’t throw)
2.Sew on a button (It’s not feminine it’s a necessity)
3.Back up a trailer
4.Cook at least seven different meals from scratch
5.Tie on a fishing lure
6.Throw a punch
7.Manage money (Spend only 70 percent of what you
earn)
8.Simple auto trouble shooting (change a tire,
jump start a car, change the oil)
9.Shoot a gun
10.Dress
properly including how to tie a tie and shine his shoes
11.Read
a map (GPS systems have made our society map illiterate)
12.Laundry
including hot to iron clothing
13.Play
poker
14.Basic
house repairs (fix a toilet, hang a ceiling fan, fix a leak)
15.Tie
basic knots
16.Drive
a manual transmission vehicle
17.What it's like to Win
18.How
to start a fire
19.Write
a proper sentence
20.Basic
sports trivia (even if you don’t like sports know something to add to any sport
conversation)
21.CPR
and basic first aid
22.How
to defend themselves in a fight (see my post about self-defense)
23.Change
diapers
24.What it's like to Lose
25.Take a person down
26.Pitch
a tent
27.Turn
clothing into a flotation device
28.Speak
in public
29.Bake
30.Balance
a checkbook
31.Field
dress an animal
32.Grow
a garden
33.Give
complements
34.Let
go (inanition’s, bad friends, past wrongs, regrets, and fears)
If you have any to add I would love to hear some.
It’s been over a year, since I have added to The White
Collar Choke. I plan to start writing on
here much more in the future. Thanks for
taking the time to checkout The White Collar Choke.
Separate from our one-year, three-year and five-year goals, there is a
different type of goal that seems to be frequently not addressed by many
instructors and understandably so. Most instructors
and school owner’s livelihood is reliant on their school. They need students who are willing to pay for
their instruction to keep their business alive.
However, I’ve noticed a few times over the last few years that a student’s
reason for training doesn’t match their instructor’s philosophy of teaching.
When determining our one, three, and five-year goals we are materializing milestones and things to strive for, but not we don't really determine why we want these things. I suggest that
at some point we all need to determine our overall goal. That is, “Why do you train?” Determining your “Why” is a key development
in your game. The great part of this
question is there is no wrong answer.
This is your answer.
You may train to get in good shape. Maybe it’s for self-defense or for
professional development such as law enforcement. Maybe you want to relieve stress. Perhaps you
want to fight in mixed martial arts competitions. Perhaps you want to be a future UFC
Champion. Maybe you want to be a BJJ
World Champion. Maybe you just want to have fun and belong to a group. All of these are great
reasons to train!!
Determining this
goal sets you expectation of your ROI, or return on investment, from your time on the mats. You do invest your time and you do invest
your money, shouldn’t you have a expectation of what you wish to receive in
return from your time and money?
This goal or ROI
is executable from the SMART method of making goals. This goal doesn’t need a time limit but is
should be specific and attainable.
Our overall expectations in life can change, therefore this should be a fluid
goal, meaning this may change over time and that is okay. As we age our perspectives and attitudes
change. Not allowing your jiu jitsu
goals to change as well is foolish.
Either way it is a good idea to keep what your overall objective is
fresh in your mind. Keeping the big picture
in mind will help us get through tough days on the mats and the occasional
disappointments.
Once you have
decided your expectation ask yourself if you are doing the right things to
achieve it. Are you in the right school?
Are you training with the right people?
Are you eating right? Are you
training the right way?
The reasoning of
determining the overall expectation of our training is so we do not become
disenchanted with our training. I have
met and talked with people that have been training for years and when I asked
them “What is your purpose for training?”
They didn't have a definite answer. They
have been training for a long time yet really had no purpose in their training.
Training with no purpose is almost as bad as not training at all.
Take time and determine YOUR reason for training. Give your goals and training a bigger purpose.
Listen to a conversation in your office today.I’ll bet if you listen to two people talk about any subject over a period of five minutes, the dominating theme of the conversation will have a negative topic. Perhaps it’s negative talk about the boss, a negative political view, a negative speech about the company, or maybe it’s a person talking negatively about himself.
The National Science Foundation estimates that, on average, humans have approximately 50,000 thoughts per day.They also estimate that 70-80 percent of those thoughts are negative.That is up to 40,000 units of negative energy each and every day!!!
Negativity is easily THE NUMBER ONE ENEMY to the potential that each one of us has inside.Negative thoughts are parasites that infect all of us, and negativity’s bastard children: doubt, depression, lack of confidence, complacency, worry and fear are the silent killers of our dreams.Negativity, either from within ourselves or from outside influences, like our friends and family, can have a dramatic effect on our lives.The offspring of negativity are the reasons many of us don’t take the chance to make our lives better.They are the reasons we aren’t living the dreams we had in our childhood.
So how can we battle this enemy?
A little over two years ago I began to notice the effects that negativity has had on my life.I was always told to “Expect the worst, but hope for the best.”Sayings and mottos like these have created an environment where pessimism and negativity have thrived.Once I recognized the impact that negative thinking in my life has had, I had to make a change. I was now going to "Expect the best."
To stop thinking negatively we need to first do just that…stop.I know that this may sound silly but that is the ultimate goal.At first we need to make this a conscious thing. Take notice of your thoughts, don’t let negativity enter and leave your head without notice. Once you are able to notice your thoughts, when a negative thought crosses your mind, stop it and replace it with a positive thought about the same subject.
This first must be done consciously but after practicing this multiple times a day it becomes more and more automatic.I equate this type of process of learning to learning techniques in sports or martial arts.For those of you who are grapplers, remember the first time you did an arm bar.It felt awkward, hard, and maybe it even felt impossible.Now fast forward to where you are a couple years later: after practicing the arm bar an uncountable number of times, the ability to complete it is almost instinctual.Through repetition, you have moved the conscious movements you had when you first started to the unconscious.Using this method of battling negativity will eventually travel the same path.
The Challenge
Negative thoughts will never completely leave our lives, but reducing their frequency can have a dramatic impact on our lives.I challenge you to consciously stop the negative thoughts and replace them with positive and confident thoughts every day, for the next 30 days.Then enjoy the effects that more positive thinking can have in your life.
Mixed Martial Arts and other combat sports are highly competitive.It seems that every competitor or fighter is searching for an edge to help them get a leg up on the competition.Fighters are often changing camps trying to find the winning formula for their personal success.One of the most successful MMA training camps is in Albuquerque, NM with Greg Jackson.Jackson has earned a reputation of being an excellent game planer and his teams winning percentage shows it.
But how does one game plan for fight, which is very chaotic?Does a trainer fight to use his strengths or his opponent’s weaknesses?
Well I want to suggest an idea that could help fighters develop game plans for their fights.I will use the example of MMA for the matter of consistency but I believe that this method could be used in all the combat sports and all areas of life for that matter.
CARVER
During the Vietnam War, the U.S. Military developed a risk based assessment matrix to help prioritize enemy targets.This assessment matrix is called the CARVER matrix.Today, many law enforcement and emergency personnel utilize this method when creating agency strategies.
So how would this matrix work when planning for your next fight?
The acronym CARVER stands for Criticality, Accessibility, Recuperability (also Recoverability), Vulnerability, Effect and Recognizability.Here is a break down on what each means when using this for MMA.
CriticalityIs this critical to win the fight?
Accessibility Is this accessible or am I able to do this?
RecuperabilityWill my opponent be able to recover from this?
VulnerabilityIs my opponent vulnerable in this area?
Effect What is the impact of accomplishing this psychologically?
Recognizability Will the judges recognize the advantage or strike?
So how does this work and what does this mean?
To set up the matrix make a spreadsheet similar to the one you see below.After reviewing film on your opponent’s fights get with your coaches or training partners and write down 4-8 areas that you may want to focus on when training for this particular fight.Then rate each position or area of training, in each CARVER category, by scoring them 1-5 (5 being the most critical, the most accessible, the hardest to recover from, the most vulnerable, the biggest impact, and very recognizable; 1 being the least)Rating these areas could be done statically by taking careful statistics of your opponents last three fights. You may also want to have your coach and training partners create their own matrix for your fight, then compare them. This will give you a less distroted view and give you ideas that maybe you would not have thought of.
Below is a sample CARVER matrix of what a possible Muay Thai dominate fighter may come up with if he is fighting a fighter that is predominately a wrestler who likes to utilize the cage for dirty boxing.
THE CARVER MATRIX
Escaping from the guard
Takedowns
Single Leg Defense
Boxing
Escaping against the fence
Passing the Guard
Criticality
4
2
5
4
4
1
Accessibility
4
2
4
4
3
1
Recuperability
2
1
2
3
3
2
Vulnerability
4
1
2
3
2
3
Effect
4
5
5
3
3
4
Recognizeability
2
4
4
4
4
4
Total
20
15
22
21
19
15
Utilizing the above matrix, would give the fighter the direction that training cage work and takedown defense is probably more important that drilling single legs and guard passing. I realize this may be common sense but I believe that adding quantitative data to a problem can make solution easier to discover.Using this type of matrix to organize your training could have dramatic impacts on your effectiveness, attitude, focus, and motivation.
This same matrix can be used for many purposes using the same guidelines of ranking each category.Proper planning and preparation can mean the difference of winning and losing, being poor and being rich, getting hired and getting fired. Try using the CARVER method with your training and let me know how it works for you.
While teaching grappling and use of force classes over the
past few years, I have been asked many times “What is the best martial art to
train for self-defense?” While I would
not consider myself close to being an expert of any martial art, or in self-defense
in general, when teaching such classes you are expected to have the answers or be
able to direct the student in the right direction.
In order to answer such a question, I really needed to examine
what I believe, what I have been taught and what I have experienced. Having attended many training courses
covering topics of the like and utilizing the information from them, I have answered
the question with four elements of self-defense. I realize that even situation is dynamic and unique, there can be some commonalities in many situations that can be addressed.
Please recognize that the information is mainly about
physical assault not involving firearms, home invasions, and other off-beat
occurrences that could happen. The
topics here are to illicit an open discussion about the topic and so we all
could benefit.
Element I: Avoidance
The best way to get out of a situation that may require you
to be worried about your personal safety is to avoid the situation
completely. When I speak about the
avoidance elementl I often refer to my Jiu Jitsu instructor’s, Kevin Jones,
reply when I asked him how to get out of a certain submission. He simply said, “Don’t get in it.” The same can be said for self-defense
situations, avoiding the situations is often times the best solution.
I grew up in a blue collar railroad town that was known for
the fist fights and copious assaults that would take place. However, in this town, and probably like most
towns, the majority of the assaults took place when alcohol was involved. Therefore to decrease the likelihood of being
involved in a situation where you may need to defend yourself, avoid places
where the majority of assaults happen such as bars, nightclubs, and other
places alcohol is served.
It is clear that alcohol, mainly alcohol abuse, plays a
significant role in assaults. In a 2006
FBI report of violent assaults on law enforcement officers, 81 percent of
participating offenders that assaulted an officer reportedly drank at least
once a week. (Keep in mind that these
numbers also include assault with deadly weapons as well.)
Element II: Awareness
Because I realize that assaults do happen in the strangest
of places such as the dog park, the McDonald’s drive-through line, little
league games, and so on, and because I realize that we must live our lives, there
is more to being safe than just avoiding the environment.
First, be aware of who is around you. If you find yourself in a bar, dog park, or
wherever, scan the area to make sure there isn’t anyone that poses a threat to
you or may be looking to cause trouble. If
you feel unsure about an individual or group of individuals, I would suggest
that it is best to trust your instincts and find a different place to spend
your time.
Secondly, when you find yourself in a situation and you feel
the need to protect yourself, being aware of certain tendencies and gestures
can forewarn you of what is about to happen.
They are commonly known as pre-assault indicators. The human body is often giving off signs that
can give you clues to what someone is thinking.
Non-verbal communication leaks from the body constiantly and can be
obvious if you know what to look for. Knowing
these indicators can and have saved people’s lives. Here are a few easy ones to
remember:
Grooming. If the threatening subject begins to touch
his face, hair, or chin it is because of the stress of his future actions. The most common grooming I have seen is the
touching of the chin as if they were combing their goatee, or adjusting the clothing (pulling up on the pants, taking off the a hat, ect.).
Fake Yawn.
Bladed Stance.
Contacts with associates. If the subject is with a group, the subject
will often speak to his friends or gesture to them prior to acting.
Scanning. Many times a subject will scan the area or
look over his shoulder to ensure no authority is around or to be certain that
you are alone. Or he may be scanning you
up and down.
This video is from a Tru TV show, which makes me question the authenticity of the video. However the punches look hard on the ground so we'll call it legit for now. See if you can spot a couple of the pre assault indicators.
For those of you that may be interested in ways of
increasing your awareness, Roy Harris has written a great amount on developing
awareness that can be found at http://www.royharris.com/tag/awareness .
Element III: Anticipation
If you are not able to avoid the situation or are not aware
of your surroundings enough to leave prior to the incident, but you have seen
and witnessed a pre-assault indicator (or even if you have not), anticipate the
assault happening. Anticipating the
incident can help you prepare for what is about to happen. However, you must be careful not to confuse
anticipation with instigating.
In a world of video cameras and a lawsuit happy public, your
appearance could be very important. I
would pose this solution that was given to me by Tony Blauer a few years back
while attending a S.P.E.A.R. training.
The most important thing in a fight is to protect yourself. If you have been in a gym I am sure you have
heard numerous times “keep your hands up!”
But throwing your hands up in a tense situation with your fist balled up
can escalate the situation when there may still be a way to avoid the whole
thing.
Many times in a heated discussion people will have their
hands down at their sides and face leaning forward in an alpha male way of
invading the other’s space. This is
natural. I will ask you to avoid nature
and keep your wits about you and do what is safe. Avoid leaving your hands at your side. If a fight is going to happen having your
hand low could be a costly mistake.
Instead I want you to raise your hands so your fingers are at about nose
level and palms facing the subject in a non-aggressive posture with the head
slightly leaning back and make sure your hands are closer to your face than the
subject’s. Make sure to speak calmly and
softly. Remember that the idea is to avoid
this entire situation if possible. Keep
your weight on your toes with your strong foot back. Although we don’t want this fight to happen
we can’t be caught with our weight on our heels.
This stance can accomplish multiple things. First, it could possibly defuse the situation
by relaying to the subject that fighting is not what you want to do. Secondly, this posture is not an aggressive
posture and if there are witnesses and/or cameras, this is normally seen as self-defense. Thirdly, by assuming this stance you are
putting yourself in a position to best defend yourself from a haymaker punch
and you are only a few short movements to a full-on fighting stance.
Since learning this nice little stance I have been teaching
it to students that have inquired about such things and I have been told more
than once that this stance has either saved them from a fight or saved them
from getting punched.
WE SHOULD ANTICIPATE THE FIGHT, NOT INSTIGATE THE FIGHT.
Along with the above a big portion of anticipation is
running mental senarios in your head from time to time asking your self, “What
would I do if (fill in the black) happened right now?” Einstien used what he termed “thought
experiments” which eventually lead to the Theory of Reativity. Using
your own “thought experements”,like posing that question, can help
provide a mental road map of and pepare your mental state for the incidents
that may occur.
Element IV: Ability
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to
avoid hitting, but never hit soft.
- Theodore
Roosevelt-
This is the element where the fight is on. From this point our skill, training, and conditioning
will play a factor. This is the element
where the art you chose to study and will matter. However, I would like to
suggest that just because you study an art doesn’t mean that you are prepared
for a street fight. If you are not
training for a street fight you may not be prepared for a street fight. I can assure you that there are no advantage
points when things get serious.
If I have learned anything over the past decade it is that
training is specific. If self-defense is
the primary concern for training an art, I feel that it’s important for you to
relay that to your instructor so he can address your needs as well as
others. Bad habits ,or training scars, can be formed if you are
not training how you plan to fight. A
good example of training scars can be illistrated by an incedent that occurred
during a training session. While
conducting use of force senarios an officer in the class pulled guard when the senario became physical (probably not the
best idea in the Arizona desert). I am
not saying it’s wrong but I don’t believe that training to be under a man that
is seriously trying to hurt or kill you is the best solution to that type of
problem.
Although I’m not the foremost authority of the subject I
feel that the points made above are worth considering. I hope this has helped some with and has
ignited questions and concerns. Thanks
for taking the time.
I would love to hear any comments about this. Perhaps there are things or elements that
don’t fit into these categories that I have not thought of.
